I often see clients who believe that spending time on helping themselves to grow and change is ‘selfish’, ‘self-indulgent’ or ‘self-serving’. I tell them that being in pursuit of their best selves isn’t selfish. It is in fact an act of self-compassion; of finding a way to be gentle and tender with themselves, helping themselves to care as much for themselves as they might the people around them. I also tell them that by bringing the best version of themselves to day-to-day situations, they are likely to improve relationships with partners, family, friends and co-workers. This is especially true at this time of COVD-19. #SelfCompassion

Inner Critic

All of us has an inner critic running a commentary on our own lives. Now perhaps more than ever before, we judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others and beat ourselves up about innumerable things: how we froze during a presentation; how we mishandled a conversation with a colleague or friend; how we ate too much chocolate or drank too much wine when we were trying to abstain. Our self-talk often tells us that we are imperfect and that we constantly make mistakes, when we should be telling ourselves that we are enough. #InnerCritic

Learning Opportunities

By reminding ourselves that the challenges we face are learning opportunities, and exercising patience with ourselves, we can let go of feelings of inadequacy, which are more often than not unfounded. We can start to believe in and value ourselves and acknowledge the contribution that we make to the world. #ValueYourself

Stop Comparing Ourselves to Others

With the realization that we can never be perfect, we are able to stop comparing ourselves with others and start to develop a more balanced and positive view of our sense of self. With this more balanced perspective, we can be more open to engaging with our self-compassion and letting go of self-judgement. #StopComparing


Author: Alisa Salamon, Life Coach at InsideOut