Crises and catastrophes are difficult for anyone, but for children and teenagers, they can be especially confusing and frightening. They may not have the words to express what they feel — and they often look to adults for cues on how to respond.

As parents, carers, or colleagues supporting families, it’s vital to know how to spot signs of distress, respond appropriately, and reassure children during emergencies.

How Children React to Crisis

Children’s responses vary by age:

  • Young children (0–6 years): clinginess, bedwetting, tantrums, sleep disruptions.
  • School-age children (7–12 years): irritability, difficulty concentrating, nightmares, fear of separation.
  • Teenagers (13+ years): withdrawal, anger, risk-taking, changes in eating/sleeping, excessive use of phones or social media.

All of these are normal stress reactions, but they signal that children need support, stability, and reassurance.

What Children Need Most

  1. Safety and Security: Reassure them that adults are doing everything possible to keep them safe. Maintain routines (mealtimes, bedtime) where you can.

  2. Honest, Simple Explanations: Children can sense when something is wrong. Give age-appropriate facts, avoid overwhelming detail, and encourage questions. Example: “There was a big storm, and that’s why the power is out. But we are safe inside, and people are fixing it.”

  3. Opportunities to Express Feelings: Younger children may draw or play out their fears. Older children might talk, journal, or use music. Provide outlets without forcing conversation.

  4. Calm Role-Modelling: Children look to adults for cues. If you stay calm, even when you feel anxious, they feel more secure. It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings, but show healthy ways of managing them.

  5. Connection: Encourage children to stay connected to friends, teachers, or extended family. Social support is as protective for children as it is for adults.

Red Flags for Extra Support

Seek professional help if a child:

  • Talks about wanting to hurt themselves.
  • Shows prolonged withdrawal, aggression, or severe anxiety.
  • Loses interest in school, play, or friendships for weeks.
  • Struggles to sleep or eat consistently.

👉 In the UK, call 999 if you believe a child is at risk. For urgent emotional support, you can also call Childline (0800 1111).

Helping Yourself Helps Them

Children are highly sensitive to the emotions of the adults around them. Even when you think you’re hiding stress, they often pick up on your tone of voice, body language, or changes in routine. That’s why caring for your own mental health is not separate from caring for your child — it’s a fundamental part of it.

When children see you coping in healthy ways, they learn by example. If you practise calming strategies, set boundaries, or seek support when needed, you show them that it’s normal to take care of your mental wellbeing. This gives them permission to do the same.

Here are some practical ways to look after yourself while supporting children in crisis:

  • Model calm regulation: Try simple grounding or breathing exercises in front of your child. You might even invite them to join you: “Let’s take three deep breaths together.” This turns coping into a shared skill.

  • Keep a routine for yourself: Prioritise your own sleep, meals, and downtime. Predictability stabilises both you and your child.

  • Talk to trusted adults: Share your worries with friends, family, or colleagues rather than unloading them onto children. Kids feel reassured when they see that adults have their own support networks.

  • Take short breaks: Even 10 minutes of movement, a walk outside, or listening to music can reset your stress levels. Explain to children: “I need a quick pause, then I’ll be back.” This teaches them self-care without guilt.

  • Seek professional support if needed: Speaking to a counsellor, GP, or helpline for yourself doesn’t just benefit you — it strengthens your ability to be a steady, reassuring presence for your child.

👉 Remember: Children don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be present, consistent, and willing to care for yourself as well as for them. By tending to your own wellbeing, you create the secure foundation they need to feel safe and supported.

Final Thought

In times of crisis, children need three things most: reassurance, routine, and relationships. You don’t need to have all the answers — you only need to be present, calm, and open to listening. That presence is what makes them feel safe enough to heal.

 

By Laura Stembridge, Founder InsideOut